RESTORING CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS

RESTORING CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS

Matthew 18:15-22 NET.

¹⁵ “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault when the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have regained your brother. ¹⁶ But if he does not listen, take one or two others with you, so that at the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter may be established. ¹⁷ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. If he refuses to listen to the church, treat him like a Gentile or a tax collector. ¹⁸ “I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will have been bound in heaven, and whatever you release on earth will have been released in heaven. ¹⁹ Again, I tell you the truth, if two of you on earth agree about whatever you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. ²⁰ For where two or three are assembled in my name, I am there among them.” ²¹ Then Peter came to him and said, “Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother who sins against me? As many as seven times?” ²² Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, I tell you, but seventy-seven times!

We are continuing our study of the commands of Christ today, and we come to a passage that has been misunderstood, abused, and used to justify lots of wrong thinking and actions throughout the centuries. Usually, when we are studying a passage and trying to get to its meaning, one of the first things we should do is look at how the passage has been understood historically. But today’s passage might just be an exception to that rule because both Catholics and Protestants have used this text to justify their hierarchical ecclesiastical authority. That is not at all what Jesus or Matthew had in mind. Our own churches tend to use this passage to outline a method of church discipline, many including it as a proof-text in their bylaws. I suppose some of the principles this text teaches relate to church discipline, but the passage was not intended for that.

The context in which Jesus gives these words of instruction helps us to understand its purpose. Jesus had just interrupted the disciples’ argument over who was the greatest by bringing a little child and setting him by his side and telling them that this child was the greatest and that they should all welcome him. He warned them not to cause these little children to stumble. Then he told them a parable about one lost sheep, and how the owner leaves the 99 safe sheep and goes looking for the one lost sheep, to restore him to the fold. That is the context in which today’s text is found. Its purpose is not to establish who has authority in the church. Its purpose is not to outline a method of church discipline. The purpose of today’s instruction is to teach believers how to restore those who are straying away from the faith.

It is very easy for us to get caught up in the mechanics of today’s passage and lose sight of its objective. Jesus knew that there would be those who would become part of the Christian community and then would fall away for a variety of reasons. Jesus wanted to instruct his disciples on how they could win back the lost – to restore the lost sheep. Restoring Christian relationships is part of our job description as believers.

We don’t have a good track record of obeying Christ in this area. In fact, we tend to use this very text to drive sheep away from the fold instead of rescuing them. So, it is important for us to go back to today’s text to see what our Master commanded and conform our actions to his standards. Often, when someone walks away from the faith, we tend to think “good riddance” even if we do not say it. Jesus wants us to restore those who stray. But how do we do that?

First, always hope to restore (15-17).

In its context, the sin mentioned in verse 15 is the first step out of the protective pasture. It is the compromise that is often overlooked or ignored. But Jesus does not want us to ignore what is going on in the lives of our brothers and sisters. He wants us to value each other and the blessing of each other’s fellowship. He wants us to be sensitive to the very slightest move outside the boundaries of the family of God. He wants the members of the body of Christ to be always looking for ways to keep the body together. If one limb of the body gets out of joint, others are to immediately come to the rescue – setting it right again.

The first step in restoring is always to be a private matter, avoiding embarrassment and shame. It may be that I will find my suspicions unfounded and discover that the sheep is not straying after all. But if there is straying going on, it is best to correct it as quickly and quietly as possible. If I encounter reluctance to return, then I will want to get the help of one or two others who can assist me to restore my brother or sister. If that doesn’t work, I should get the assembly involved, because my straying friend needs to know how dangerous his or her choices are. Leaving the fellowship of other believers is not just a personal choice. It affects the whole body.

But what happens if the lost sheep refuses to return. This is where our Master tells us to treat them as an outsider – as a Gentile or tax collector. But does this mean formal ex-communication? So many interpret it that way. The book of Matthew has already shown us how Jesus himself treats Gentiles and tax collectors. He befriends them and welcomes them. So, for Jesus to tell his disciples to treat the straying sheep as one would a Gentile of tax collector is to say we will never lose hope that they might turn back to the faith. Always hope to restore the lost sheep. No one living is a lost cause. They might be outside the fellowship right now, but we have not given up hope for their return.

Second, always pray to restore (18-20).

Jesus talks about binding and loosing here. In the days of Christ on earth, people locked their doors by feeding a loop of fabric into the door and locking it with a key. This was called binding the door. The same key could untie the fabric and thus unlock the door. This was called loosing the door.

Jesus had previously told Peter that he had the keys to the kingdom and that he could bind and loose with those keys. We saw that prophecy fulfilled in the book of Acts as Peter was involved in welcoming the various ethnic groups into the kingdom. First, the Jews, then the Samaritans, then the Gentiles. Binding and loosing were what you did to a door. A bound door was a locked door. A loosed door was unlocked so you could enter through it. What Jesus told Peter was that he had the ability to give access to Christ’s kingdom. He had the power to unlock the door on both sides: the earth side and the heaven side. Heaven’s side would remain unlocked, but Peter could unlock the kingdom on Earth’s side.

Now, two chapters later, what Jesus promised Peter he also promises the rest of the disciples. They would also have the ministry of binding and loosing. They could grant access to the kingdom by preaching the gospel. But what happens if someone hears the gospel, becomes a part of a Christian fellowship, then walks away from that fellowship? Jesus tells us that we all have the keys. We can welcome the lost sheep back into the fold.

But what happens if we offer forgiveness and restoration, but the lost sheep refuse to come back? Then, Jesus tells us, we have the awesome weapon of gathering to pray for them. Jesus tells us that when we pray for the restoration of those who have walked away, he will be in our midst, and the Father in Heaven will be ready to answer our prayers. So, not only should we always hope to restore the lost, but we should also always be praying for them to be restored.

Brothers and sisters, we have a lot of people on our church prayer list, but you know that most of them are on the list because of some illness or injury or perhaps because they are grieving the loss of a loved one. There is certainly a need for us to keep praying for those folks. But today’s passage tells us of another group of people we should be interceding for in our prayer rooms. We need to be praying for those who were formerly members but who have gone away. Those people have made the worst decision that they could possibly have made. They have chosen to defect from God’s forever family. Restoring them needs to be a prayer priority for us.

Third, always forgive to restore (21-22).

Jesus has placed a powerful responsibility into our hands. He has given us the keys, but he knows that in our selfishness, we will be happy to stay safe and sound in the fold and keep the door securely locked so those who have strayed will never find their way back. We do that by refusing to forgive them. Peter revealed this tendency we have by suggesting to Jesus that there might be a limit to how many times one should forgive. Peter probably thought he was being magnanimous when he offered to forgive someone seven times. Based on a text in the Old Testament book of Amos (taken out of context), some Rabbi suggested that you could safely forgive a person three times but stop at four. Peter probably expected Jesus to commend him for being so generous. But Jesus said not just seven times but seventy-seven. Some versions translate the phrase as seventy times seven. Either way, Jesus’ point is that we should not set a limit. Our forgiveness is a way of always keeping the door unlocked. Our goal is not to punish the lost sheep but to restore them to the flock.

Now, we should reflect on the fact that there are some people who have left the fellowship. Jesus wants us not to give up on those people. He wants us to target them with our friendship. He wants us to make ourselves available to them. He wants us to let them know that we want them back. He wants us to seek to reconcile with them. He wants us to find others who can help us reach them. Even if they are determined to stay away from our meetings and refuse to acknowledge their previous commitment – he wants us to keep praying for them. He wants us to focus on them like the owner who left the ninety-nine to restore the one lost sheep.

But he knows we will be tempted to write them off. He knows we will be angered by their defection, and we will not want to forgive them. We will want to hold a grudge against them and stay as far away from them as possible. But he commands us to do the opposite. He commands us to take our time and focus our attention on these sinning brothers and sisters. He wants us to personally take the first step toward reconciling with them. He wants us to value the relationship enough that we ask the help of other Christians to mend the broken relationship. He wants us to focus our valuable prayer time on restoring Christian relationships. He wants us to take drastic measures to keep the door always unlocked so that the lost will know that should they seek to return, they will be welcomed back.